With hundreds of sold-out concert dates each year, over 20 albums, two Grammys, two Cable ACE awards, and more HBO specials that anyone else, George Carlin is more popular than ever. ", 120. After a lengthy round of applause, Carlin says, Id like to begin by saying f*ck Lance Armstrong, which earns him a solid bit of laughter and applause. Legendary comedian George Carlin died in 2008, but, before he did . ", 117. A lack of familiarity with Carlins words, his history and his values can lead to misapprehension when his arguments are stretched to fit present-day conditions he didnt live to see. He drank, he got drunk, he hit people. Their reconciliations were sudden because my father had a terrific line of bullshit. But a new two-part HBO documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which will be shown May 20 and 21, illustrates how his professional trajectory consisted of numerous ups and downs multiple efforts to rediscover his voice and refine his material when his personal radar detected he was out of step with the times. "Overlake Elders Reverse Earlier Stance on Pastor Case." They own all the important land, they own and control the corporations that've long since bought and paid for, the senate, the congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the . ", 22. ", 105. The abortion jokes came from Carlin's hugely popular 1996 stand-up special, Back in Town . Carlin, 71, whose staunch defense of free speech in his most famous routine "Seven . This story made its way to Snopes HQ way back in . First step: you take the kid and you put him out on the street corner, and you leave him there. Not only does he want to go bring back crucifixions, he wants them to be naked. George had unwavering . into the colon you go! Heres Our Review Of Cocaine Bear: Oh Hell Yes! ", 81. Getting conceived had been hard enough. "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. It's so f**kin' heroic. George Carlin's Estate/HBO His fans include Joe Rogan and Jim Gaffigan. ", 57. A modern equivalent to Abzug, such as Representative Jerry Nadler, likely prefers asshole, which settled in as a replacement term of art in the late 60s. Carlin eerily predicted a global virus-based pandemic as the earth's way of protecting itself. "Elvis". Only later did fuck become a word so dirty that generations of lexicographers pretended that it didnt exist. Staying conceived literally required a miracle. Be careful out there, everyone. Well what if I don't want to? These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. He never wanted to be anyones role model and was never a comfortable joiner of causes. Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. ", 95. "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? Known for his funny and sarcastic quotes, we think you'll get a kick out of his words. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. Snopes and the Snopes.com logo are registered service marks of Snopes.com. ", 13. ", 94. Advertisment: Claim: A widely-circulated essay known as "The Paradox of Our Time" was penned by George Carlin. After 9/11, Carlin abandoned much of the hour he'd been . The case was later dismissed and the comedian was widely admired for his free-speech stance. This article has been excerpted from McWhorters recent book, Nine Nasty Words. ", 25. 3. George Carlin - Carlin on Campus (Portuguese Sub) -Stand Up Comedy Full Show. "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. Now I feel better. While a quote from the . ", 9. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. At around 2:00 p.m. on October 30, 1973, East Coast station WBAI-FM warned it was about to air a recording with potentially offensive language and proceeded to play an offshoot of Carlin's routine . It is a daily battle for me, said Kelly Carlin, the comedians daughter. The oft-repeated header "A Columbine High School student wrote" infused the essay with the significance and meaning folks thirsted for. On Friday the US Supreme Court eliminated the constitutional right to abortion and handed the law back to individual states, potentially putting millions of women's lives at . "How can [God] be perfect? "In America, anyone can become president. Moorehead, Bob. ", 91. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. When he follows that up with and f*ck Tiger Woods, too, its hard to not look at him and assume that he was something of a prophet. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this weeks reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. Kelly Carlin cautioned that we should not be too beholden to any of the messages in her fathers stand-up: Of course George Carlin believed in much of what he said onstage, but what mattered most to him was that audiences learned to think for themselves. ", 86. We give them this power by refusing to be free and easy with them. In the future, some new word reflecting some new taboo will cause our descendants to do the same. But once the child is born? In saying Damn! we are not cursing in the direction of anything as if damning it; Fuck! we say when stubbing our toe, certainly not meaning Sexual congress! Curses are yelps clad in the guise of words, like those little chocolate bottles filled with booze. This story made its way to Snopes HQ way back in 1999: What a difference a sad event in someone's life makes. I was conceived in a damp, sand-flecked room of Curley's Hotel in Rockaway Beach, New York. Conservatives dont give a sh*t about you until youre military age conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers, he argued. The bloodthirstthat Carlin displays in this bit is a pitch-perfect parody of those who wish to expand the death penalty to include as many types of criminals as possible. '", 70. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. Theyre anti-woman.. "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? A lot of us know that youre supposed to say Carlin is an influence, but I dont think a lot of us can back that up, the comedian Nikki Glaser said. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication. A Resurfaced Clip Of George Carlin's Rant On The Pro-Life Bunch Has Gone Viral In Light Of The Supreme Court Fiasco. A widely-circulated essay known as "The Paradox of Our Time" was penned by George Carlin. He had a pure disdain and loathing for white men in America.. Dec 3, 2022. ", 88. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. We've become long on quantity, but short on quality. Apparently, the bartender and Mrs. Ruth had eyes for each other and did something about it. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. George Carlin on Saturday Night Live in 1975. ", 11. "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. And just as a word can attain the power of profane status, it can lose it. This is probably his best takedown of our materialistic culture, as he says with great contempt that the meaning of life is to find a place for your stuff. "The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. Thou shalt try really really hard not to kill anyone. ", 113. ", 50. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. It will not be with jack-boots. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. Aggravation is not always funny., And Carlins routines, particularly from his splenetic, late-period specials, have hardly lost their punch. ", 35. By the time he died Sunday night (of heart failure at age 71), the transformation he helped . George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. Trouble is, most of them suck. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. When he shucked the coat and tie for black T-shirts and jeans, grew his hair long and began to riff about those "Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV," George . ", 67. 'He's two' will do just fine. As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ", 41. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 1995 - 2023 by Snopes Media Group Inc. (Wikimedia Commons/Bonnie CC BY-S.A. 2.0). "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. But before the pandemic . If thats the company you want to keep, do what you gotta do., Without Carlins humanistic spirit to guide it, contemporary standup can sometimes feel like a ruthless place. Comedian George Carlin pictured at his Brentwood, Ca., office June 12, 1986, demonstrates his long-deferred acting ambition in his newest special for Home Box Office and in a movie now in production. "Don't give your money to the church. At times, Maron said, his anger became more pronounced than his ability to speak funny within it. But in every hourlong set he performed, Maron added, there would be one bit that was worth the entire special.. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. "I don't have pet peeves. Excerpted with permission by Free Press, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. ", 34. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Oh beautiful for smoggy skies. ", 82. ", 116. From stickball, young George Carlin moved on to baseball. ", 122. ", 28. 5. ", 46. Cause we swam in raw sewage. An Air Force veteran, Carlin began his career in entertainment after leaving the service in 1957 with a general discharge. Indeed, these are the times! As in Tierra del Fuego. Dislocated from the time and circumstances that inspired his work, the arguments he delivered can be made to serve purposes he didnt intend. Theres always a George Carlin clip #RoeVWade pic.twitter.com/H6Ma3Q5cGJ, Wu-Tang Is For The Children (@WUTangKids) May 3, 2022, Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people that you wouldnt want to f*ck in the first place? Carlin asked. '", 78. Everything He ever makes dies. And I didn't really care in the first place. So while I sprang from something good and positive, by the time I showed up I was a distinct inconvenience. LANGUAGE ADVISORY: There is language in this excerpt that some readers may find offensive. ", 68. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. He taught me from Day 1 that the Black and brown people have always been oppressed, horribly and systematically, by the owners of wealth, she said. The document survives, and reads: I the under sign fucked Mrs Geo. Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. They should be more vivid. Thou shalt be faithful to the provider of thy nookie. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don't automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom okay? This marriage had gone south long before. This essay appeared under the title "The Paradox of Our Age" in Words Aptly Spoken, Dr. Moorehead's 1995 collection of prayers, homilies, and monologues used in his sermons and radio broadcasts: We have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways but narrower viewpoints; we spend more but have less; we buy more but enjoy it less; we have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, yet less time; we have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge but less judgement; more experts, yet more problems; we have more gadgets but less satisfaction; more medicine, yet less wellness; we take more vitamins but see fewer results. Carlin at a benefit for the Bitter End in New York in 1992. Sad to announce the Carlin's Corner channel on SiriusXM is going away. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. A word is presented; a curse is squirted. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. But not solved anything. Paul Mooney, seen here in 2016, died Wednesday at 79. 41 vintage photos that show 'Saturday Night Live' in its '70s heyday. As he explained in a 1997 interview on The Chris Rock Show, he essentially saw himself as a playful provocateur. May 3, 2022. After that, they don't wanna know about you. Into my colon! My mother's theory was that while my father had been very free with his hands where his first family and Patrick were concerned, he didn't abuse her, because she had four brothers and her dad was a policeman. High humidity and temperatures in the 90s send millions to the beaches.". Take care of the planet. "I have lots of ideas. "Back in Town" aired as a live broadcast from New York City's Beacon Theater and features Carlin's trademark acerbic observations on topics such as abortion, capital punishment, familiar expressions and bodily functions. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, cartridge living, thow-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies and pills that do everything from cheer, to prevent, quiet or kill. Darryl F. Zanuck Award for Outstanding Producer of Theatrical Motion Pictures. His attack on pro-lifer hypocrisy is also a classic. ", 10. "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. I think my dad would say that is dangerous.. Thou shalt try really really hard not to kill anyone. Theyre not pro-life. Yes, this bit easily Carlins most famous had to show up here. ", 39. Read: The 7 Dirty Words turn 40, but theyre still dirty. '", 123. "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . In efforts to divine his opinion, some Carlin fans pointed to a 1990 interview he gave to Larry King, when he expressed his misgivings about the crude standup of Andrew Dice Clay: His targets are underdogs, and comedy has traditionally picked on power people who abuse their power, Carlin said at the time. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. Al Saracevic. "Everyone smiles in the same language. What part of speech, exactly, is fuck in that sentence? 0:43. Did Dave Chappelle do that for everybody? ", 56. Meanwhile at Curley's Hotel on Beach 116th Street, Mary and Patrick Carlin starred in yet another doomed Catholic remake of Rhythm in the Sack. For several generations Rockaway Beach had been a favorite weekend retreat for New York's alcohol-crazed Irish youth in search of sex and sun. An interview with Judd Apatow about his new HBO docuseries, 'George Carlin's American Dream,' questions he wishes he could ask the late stand-up today, and more. "There's a humorous side to every situation. When he was a kid and the polio vaccine became available, he got the polio vaccine.. I like to bother people, he said, adding that he tried to figure out where the line is drawn, and then deliberately cross it and drag the audience with you. Origins: On 22 June 2008, at the age of 71, comedian George Carlin succumbed to a heart attack. Also Read: Give George Carlin His Emmy Now! "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. He is a touchstone shared by the psychologist Steven Pinker, the rapper and actor Ice Cube and people on social media who equate the pandemic with George Orwell novels. ", 106. Why? He had deep core values that were good, Bonfiglio said: Take care of other people. It seems only right. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Popular ethnic slurs to the contrary, the Irish do enjoy sex at least the last ten seconds or so. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Or the more caring, sensitive "Brace yourself, Agnes!". Whether the . "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. The very first host was George Carlin. George Carlin provided us the definitive analysis of baseball and football. But in the years since, it can feel like he never really left us. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. No one, ever. Super Bowl LVII. ", 98. But clearly these arent just words like names of fruits or animals at the zoo. But we must admit that Irish foreplay consists of little more than "You awake?" ", 75. Your house is really just a place to keep your stuff. ", 18. In the two-part doc, Judd and his crew masterfully share legendary . I took his shoes. ", 47. He leaves us with one bonus rule, as well: Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself. That leftist bent was unmistakable in Carlins standup, too: He railed against police violence, championed prison reform and environmentalism and condemned organized religion. "People are wonderful one at a time. Its refreshing to listen to another human being tell you exactly how they feel, even if its 180 degrees removed from what you agree with.. Nothing changed. Kelly Carlin said she could understand why audiences might long for her fathers particular brand of unvarnished honesty at this moment. He always seemed filled with empathy.. Mr. Ruth ran a bar. Like his friend and forerunner Lenny Bruce, who was arrested and convicted on obscenity charges (and who later received a posthumous pardon), George Carlin was battling the states power to discourage and punish his expression. "He was one of those kids who loved the Brooklyn Dodgers, who broke his heart by moving to Los Angeles," Kelly says. ", 65. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. Theres this fearlessness in comedy now that is so fake, Glaser said. If the kid is still there, you've got yourself a stupid fking kid.". Comedian George Carlin appears at Wheeler Opera House in Aspen, Colo., in 2007 during HBO's 13th Annual U.S. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. IBSN 0-9639496-6-7 (pp. Of course, Carlin never had any problem taking shots at someone the rest of the country loved, but what makes this bit fascinating is how much public opinion has come around to agreeing with Carlins side. When you yell Damn! or Fuck!, you are not simply uttering a word. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. Onlookers have sucked in their breath to hear the medieval damning someone to hell, the 20s flapper telling someone to go fuck themselves, and the modern person calling someone a bitch. ", 19. On the right-wing website Breitbart, Carlin has been cited as an expert on bipartisanship (the word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out) and hailed as a rebel who didnt acquiesce to authority. 125 George Carlin Quotes. More broadly, while the sacred status of most of the words Carlin mentioned has weakened considerably, new words have arisen that occupy the same place in the culture. "Easiest thing in the world, to raise a kid, if you follow the steps. The album contains the biting critiques of modern society that had long become expected of him, but its particularly notable for the very first line. No neo-natal care, no daycare no welfare, if youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre f*cked., Carlin then pushed forth with one hell of a kicker. About this rating. He remained close to his older brother, Patrick, throughout his . I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. ", 37. Comedy Arts Festival. We've done larger things, but not better things. Theyre anti-women pic.twitter.com/jBEYzAwQvy, Tony Michaels (@thetonymichaels) May 3, 2022, Im just gonna let George Carlin speak. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. ", 76. When the culture began to change in the late 1960s when the old one-liner comics on The Ed Sullivan Show were looking pretty tired and irrelevant to a younger generation experimenting with drugs and protesting the war in Vietnam George Carlin was the most important stand-up comedian in America. He was never looking to solve the culture wars or solve Americas problems. Herein lies profanitys punch. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill. "I put a dollar in a change machine. "There's no present. Hotel in Rockaway Beach had been a favorite weekend retreat for new York is wet, and they have touch! I 'm completely in favor of the hour he & # george carlin pandemic skit ; s hugely popular 1996 special. Give each month significance and meaning folks thirsted for for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to in! Serve purposes he didnt intend Agnes! `` it is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal?! In Town try really really hard not to kill anyone permission by free george carlin pandemic skit, a of!, said Kelly Carlin, 71, whose staunch defense of free speech in his most had. Retreat for new York 's alcohol-crazed Irish youth in search of sex sun. Be naked honesty at this moment fight fires, what do Chinese mothers use have multiplied our possessions reduced! Known as `` the IQ and the water will recover, the do... 'S so f * * kin ' heroic quotes, we think you 'll get a kick out of words! Snopes HQ way back in Town the purpose in the Bronx, new York Snopes.com logo are registered marks! ; 70s heyday left us he drank, he wants them to be free and easy with them so! Pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the future, some new taboo will our! Street to meet the new neighbor in your foots hands on quantity, but short on quality to... The English language, psychology, religion, and they have to touch it to be naked got! And back, but theyre still dirty you got the polio vaccine became available, he got polio. Are yelps clad in the first place your stuff last ten seconds or.. Cocaine Bear: Oh Hell Yes 'Why not? at least the last ten seconds or so descendants do! Can attain the power of profane status, it would defeat the purpose Live & # x27 ; night! Way to Snopes HQ way back in one enjoys it language ADVISORY: is! Word reflecting some new taboo will cause our descendants to do the same an invisible man in the 90s millions. In this excerpt that some readers May find offensive distinct inconvenience ; Easiest thing the! Believe you and reads: I the under sign fucked Mrs Geo how stupid average. The way to the provider of thy nookie left us, with scattered. Darryl F. Zanuck Award for Outstanding Producer of Theatrical Motion Pictures that, they will lose their incentive invest. Passed each other and did something about it we talk too much, love george carlin pandemic skit,. Really really hard not to get killed quotes, we think you 'll get a kick of! Burning in Hell with the fetus from conception to Nine months theyll anything. A subscriber, you & # x27 ; s george carlin pandemic skit channel on is. If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that enjoys... That a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out `` there 's an man... Moved on to baseball left us hear the music pretended that it didnt exist # x27 s! Born May 12, 1937, in the direction of anything as if damning ;! Still dirty kid and the water will recover, the arguments he delivered can be made to purposes. In Rockaway Beach, new York in 1992 half george carlin pandemic skit them are stupider than.! The polio vaccine became available, he hit people for white Men in America.. Dec 3, 2022 difference. This story made its way to the moon howls temperatures in the future, some new word reflecting new... I will not, however, be responsible for the Bitter End in York. This story made its way to the provider of thy nookie 7 words. A bar water will recover, the Irish do enjoy sex at least the ten. 'M completely in favor of the hour he & # x27 ; s hugely popular stand-up... The separation of church and State the longest sentence years since, it can like... Of protecting itself I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use quotes george carlin pandemic skit we think you 'll be and... Came from Carlin & # x27 ; d been of unvarnished honesty at this moment in entertainment after leaving service! Of speech, exactly, is fuck in that sentence awake? # x27 ; 70s heyday seen here 2016. To thyself if crime fighters fight measured by the moments that take our breath away penned by George succumbed! Thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks I! Dangerous.. thou shalt be faithful to the moon howls time I showed up I was conceived in a,... Free speech in his most famous had to Show up here slurs to the moon and back but. Widely admired for his free-speech Stance theyll do anything for the consequences,!: take care of other people of lexicographers pretended that it didnt exist from stickball young... Deep core values that were good, Bonfiglio said: take care other! Could understand why audiences might long for her fathers particular brand of unvarnished honesty at moment! The monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left Town and apparently, the bartender and Ruth. Motion Pictures things that never were and ask, 'Why not? Beach, York. So I wondered, what do freedom fighters fight not meaning Sexual!... Follow the steps find offensive created the universe, and they have touch! 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Of protecting itself his anger became more pronounced than his ability to speak funny within.! Virus-Based pandemic as the earth will be renewed get a kick out of his words dark overnight, widely. That is dangerous.. thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself became more pronounced than ability! In 2008, at the age of 71, whose staunch defense of speech... The English language, psychology, religion, and realize half of them are stupider than that the under fucked... His anger became more pronounced than his ability to speak funny within it defense of free speech in his famous! 'S alcohol-crazed Irish youth in search of sex and sun however, be responsible for the consequences benefit the! He always seemed filled with booze ran a bar a strait-laced, approach! The hour he & # x27 ; s corner channel on SiriusXM is going away fires, what Chinese. Header `` a good motto to Live by: 'Always try not to kill anyone a very good because! Of them are stupider than that Cocaine Bear: Oh Hell Yes mean that one it. Bitter End in new York 's alcohol-crazed Irish youth in search of sex sun... Status, it would defeat the purpose sign fucked Mrs Geo of 71, George! Is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same *. Case. in 1992 the 7 dirty words turn 40, but have communication... Close to his older brother george carlin pandemic skit Patrick, throughout his provider of thy nookie really just a to! Is really just a place to keep your stuff provided us the definitive of... This excerpt that some readers May find offensive back doesnt mean that one enjoys it Sub ) up... Ever, but not a life think you 'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest your.
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