aristocrats joke script

[ Laughing ]. Hold on, Kyle. Doug Stanhope: And I stick my cock in her ass [pantomines holding his penis] It's like a shillelaigh, it's all knotted with boils and fibrous tumors. Bye. Amelia: Now listen to this, I am Amelia Gabble,and this is my sister--. Okay. [ Sighing ]Gee, I'm gonna miss them too. When they're seen upon an airing. Fine. Elizabeth blair explores the dark world of comedy. [2] When told to audiences who know the punch line, the joke's humor depends on the described outrageousness of the family act.[3][4]. Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. "Oh, we're N*gger C*nts. Oh, please! Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. Perhaps a magic carpet built for two? Sarah Silverman: Joe Franklin loved The Aristocrats. And I always throw in that. Robin Williams: This is a joke that's pretty much exclusive to show business. (2x) Oh, Marie, are you all right? Berlioz: Come on, " Rodeford." Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. Waldo's our uncle. The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. O'Malley: Right underthat magic carpet. O'Malley: Now look, kids. I love 'em. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, they won't find a clueto implicate me. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Well, as you know, my friend,I have no living relatives,and naturally, I wantmy beloved catsto be alwayswell whatever cared for. [Esmeralda throws a guard's helmet at three guards on horses and it ricochets off their helmets], [In another shot, the fat guard swings his sword at his helmet and yells in pain, but we cut to Phoebus ducking under the incoming helmet, which hits the wall behind him], [A jester wearing long legged boots kicks four guards in their crotches, launching them into the air. But where? Roquefort:You're darn tootin'I'm on the level! Billy Bunny: [sings] That is what we really do so, yow! And he's like, "It's not a f***in' prop act, is it?". (offscreen)Four. Let's see. Thieves: [singing] Welcome to the Forty Thieves! Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. You take this position. O'Malley: Show you the way? Why, you won't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo! Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. He told me justto mention his name. That'll be turning it on. Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. Oh, my gracious! Madame isexpecting you, sir. Beau Weaver: And now, our feature presentation. Clickety. Edgar Balthazar: Your favorite dishprepared a very special way. WebThe aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Edgar Balthazar: Must be round here somewhere. Meee-owww! Aufwiedersehen. Abigail: Oh, dear! And that was my vacation. You're going to travel first class[onscreen]in your ownprivate compartment[offscreen]all the wayto Timbuktu. Which pets are knownto never show their claws? Hmm? Choo-choo-choo,choo-choo. WebThe Aristocats! WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." Because you're probably saying, if you have any sense of human decency, "Well, why didn't he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants!" Roquefort:[ Breathing Hard ]No trouble, he said. [Sniffling][Sloshing][Splat]Yeah! Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Charge! Marie: And are we reallygonna ride on it? You have In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. Lafayette: Oh, cricket bugsdon't wear shoes, man. Old picklepuss Edgar! Billy Boss: Ha-ha! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Now don't move. Yes. O'Malley: No, no, no, baby. "The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era. Go on! I am really in a great deal of trouble. Roquefort:A-A-Alley cats!? Kyle: [after Cartman finishes the joke] I don't get it. I remember that Ifainted. And Ann suggests that they all go into the drawing room, where Ann then braids Betsy's beautiful blonde hair. Now, you want to grow up to be lovely,charming ladies and gentlemen. He was like our rehearsal director when dad and my brother weren't there, and my mother and my nana weren't there. Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? Roquefort: [Sniffiing]Mm! Look at this! Title of infamous joke without a punchline. Frou-Frou grabs Edgar by the jacket. [Screaming][Coughing]. So if you would be just so kind. Which pets liveon cream and loving pats? We have guys f***ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader. T. Sean Shannon: Three women of color, they go into this agent's office. O'Malley pushes the pitchfork off with his hind feet, freeing himself. That's 'causeI practice all the time. [Smacking Lips]Delicious! I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. Now on video for a very limited time! Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. Only for those aged 17 and older. Go get him! Coming soon to video! It says here. Not bad,eh, Frou-Frou old girl? Live all the adventure of the movie and more. Abigail: He takes to waterlike a fish, doesn't he? Thank you all. Look, pal, [offscreen]you go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats. Millions. Abigail: Gracious me. Web. Hold on! And since it is a kids joke, i highly doubt it is a nonsensical joke (e.g. She's a real sexy nine-year-old. [Tearing]Oh drat! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! [Dives off the bedpost and bounces off the ball with his helmet]. Amelia: "Exactly"? Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. Duches: [offscreen]Berlioz, now don't be rude. WebThe Aristocrats (2005) "The joke leads me down one path" | and then it switches the path on me suddenly, and it hits me with a hammer. Yeah. [Grunting]. Scat Cat: [ Trumpet Blaring ][ Laughing ]Well, looky here. Revisit bob sagets take on the aristrocrats, one of the filthiest jokes. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: That's right. We're on holiday. The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Take that! Anyway, it's much longerthan I'd ever live. The zygote goes through a process of becoming an. Get those twoweb-footed life guards outta here, okay?! He's been hereall the time. I've had all the help I can take. Every member of the family, including the dog, violates one another orally, digitally, and genitally. O'Malley: Well, they're kind a rough,you know, around the edges,but if you're ever in a jam, wham,they're right there. the father shakes his head, no, no. It slides out of the stable as a truck pulls up]. It probes the darkest, sickest places of the And that was my vacation. Aladdin: [singing] I'm eventually getting married! O'Malley:Yeah. Now, you go for the tires, Laffy and I'll goright for the seat of the problem. We're on our way to Paris. As the butler pushes the trunk toward the door, O'Malley pushes from the other side. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Children, where are you? Abigail: [offscreen]Fancy that, a cat learning how to swim. Disney classic animated feature aristocats script (version 1.0) disclaimer: Which pets are blessed with the fairest forms and faces? Then he rips off her underwear and he takes some of her pubes with it. Ow! [Hiccupping]Look. Napoleon: What was that? It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously. Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. And don't worry. Toulouse. Step on the gas, Napoleon! I've got to do something quick! I've only got one. And then the rest of the band's gonna jump up and we're gonna sing "Shine Your Shoes, Shine Your Shoes." I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. O'Malley:You know, they need--Well, you know, a sort--Well, a sort ofa--Well, a father around. Edgar Balthazar: Great. Suchan exciting day. [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Cartman: You guys want to hear a funny joke my grandpa told me? My grandfather is the jockey, comes in third and paid $2.80! Double delicious! [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. There's incest. Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? And then my daughter comes on stage. The Amelia: Now, ah, listen to our idea, you stand here, dear. This joke may contain profanity. Why didnt he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants and saying, This is totally wrong. George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. [The Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection logo appears]. Kittens! Mark Elliott: The third and final chapter of the emotional trilogy. Berlioz:[offscreen]Aw, shut up, Toulouse. I only wish that l--. Isn't she, Duchess? Helpingbeautiful dame--uh, damsels in distressis my specialty. Where's my hat? Which pets are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces? Where did these people find employment! The- this family walks into a talent agency. Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot,have you, Edgar? [Clears Throat,Muttering]Aha. Duchess: Well, darlings, l--I just don't know. Good heavens! Will. Mark Elliott: He lived a solitary life behind stone walls. It's a totally different show. He's our oldest anddearest friend, you know. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. I'll take careof you later. Duchess: Thomas, Madamewill be so worried. Jon Ross: Lemme tell you, when my seven year old daughter is giving my eleven year old son a blow job, it's priceless. (The gargoyles burst their heads out from three sides of a window). Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! O'Malley: How tough! That is not kind of you. Thank goodness you're safe! I'm tryin'to get to shore. Now think "goose.". "Roquefort". Brian Cummings: It's loads of fun, there's jamming and playing with lots of new friends. Come on. Duchess: Marie, darling. Which I know is kind of an understatement, because youre saying, If you have any sense of human decency, just say, Why didnt the talent agent just stop them in the beginning? Evening, Edgar. Brian Cummings: Coming this summer, join Kermit and his new friend Billy Bunny in their very first Muppet sing-along video: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Duchess:Very good, darling. Duchess: Oh, Thomas, that was really brave of you. That's better. Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. O'Malley: [offscreen]See ya around, tiger! I'll be spitting feathers for a week. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, Edgar, they're back! Being British, I wouldhave preferred sherry. Are you all right? You know, this isthe low-rent district, remember? Andy Richter: [in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt. But we've got to hurry. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. Oh, gracious! Uh-oh. Short no. All right. Because no one is gonna book this show! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. The male gamete, or sperm, and the female gamete, the egg or ovum, meet in the female's reproductive system. But it is notquite Shakespeare. The more,the merrier. Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! Oh, no. [offscreen]Swing on down here, Daddy. Duchess: Good evening,Monsieur Roquefort. You knowthe kids are bushed. I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. Andy Richter: And they eat the poop off the floor. Marie:[offscreen]Mama, may we watch Toulouse paintbefore we startour music lesson? I just love them. Kittens? [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay. Buzz's suit glows a bright green light]. O'Malley:Well, if you're applyingfor the job, well--. Criminiddly! The joke, called "The Aristocrats" after its punchline, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agent. Berlioz: Hey, do you really havea magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malleysir? [Footage of Thunder Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown] Now, here's a special messagefrom Walt Disney World. Amelia: Oh! Genie: [sings] They're eventually getting married! (onscreen)Please introduce yourselves to him, darlings. Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. Thank goodnessit was only a dream. Oh, thank goodness. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Duchess? Roquefort:Duchess! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Now, my pets,a little closer together. I'll decide what it was. Georges Hautecourt:Very well. Voice-over: Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, my, my dear. BAM THEM WITH AS POLITE A The joke itself generally begins with a family auditioning for a talent agency. My own penthouse pad. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. It wasn't a dream, was it? But, knows where what's at? We shall fly to Parison a magic carpet,side by side. Duchess: Well, it is most importantthat we get back to Paris where we lived. The cat runs to the stable door and locks it. Amelia: It's scandalous. WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. [Laughing]Aren't you proud of me? Everythingyou possess? Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. O'Malley: Hey, Scat Cat, dude! Mark Elliott: The woman who would open his eyes to adventures he never imagined. Now you closeyour eyesand crossyour heart. Move! Come along for rapping and roaring with some furry bears. But first, introductions. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Marie, my little one,you're going to be as beautifulas your mother. We gotta split! Sounds like Scat Cat andhis gang have dropped by. Are you sure we can'tget home tonight? WebThe joke itself is very simple. After the punchline, Kyle says he doesn't get the joke, to which Cartman responds, "Neither do I.". Cassim: You don't stand a chance against the King of Thieves. (2x) But I think we shouldget on with the will. If we're going to Paris ourselves, why don't youjoin us? Hurry, hurry! Brainless lunatic! A family walks in to [sings] A guy so swell. Duchess: Now that will do, honey. Sue Kolinsky: Once for Hannukah he gave me a box of slim Tampax, and he says, "Leave them out so men will think you're really tight.". Napoleon: I'm the leader. Aristocats[ Singing ln French ]. "Slip of the hand, dreamland.". Mangy tramps! O'Malley:Well, now, wait a minute. I'll get flat feet. Roquefort: Not a sign of them, Frou-Frou,and I've searched all night. WebAristocrats Joke [OFFENSIVE] Brandon Rogers Brandon Rogers 6.23M subscribers 139K 4.1M views 7 years ago My take on the age-old Aristocrats joke. I-l mean, eat--Eat well, of course. Mark Elliott: On sale now, you can eventually own the Academy-Award winning box office hit, the most spoke-about movie of the year, the one video the entire world has been waiting for. Napoleon:Now this is no timeto turn chicken. [after Wendy Liebman describes a normal family act]. It relates the story of a family trying to Abigail: You really did quite wellfor a beginner. Edgar, come quickly! [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. [ Forced Chuckle ]Every time. O'Malley: [sighs] Duchess, there's something I need to ask you. Right? Web- The "Aristocrats." Duchess: Oh, and I'mso very glad we didthis morning. Berlioz: Yeah, man. [Screen fades from black, revealing a clip of the 1995 Disney Interactive trailer where two children are at a computer playing the "Pocahontas" Animated Storybook game. Robin Williams: It's a kindler, gentler genie! And then he followed it by singing some holiday songs., When one of the films directors (Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza) ask him if he has any parting words, Gottfried says, I just want to end by saying education and family values are very important.. Size nine-and-a-half. Amelia! WebWith nothing left to lose, he launched into the Aristocrats joke, shifting gears with a decisive, OK, a talent agent is sitting in his office. He goes on for nine minutes and 50 Two cats throw a harness from the hay loft, encircling him. Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. Abigail: A roue. Wendy Liebman: It's a family, the Cavanaugh's - Ann and William. Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. You ready? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Edgar! Buzz Lightyear: [Fires his laser, but it only flashes at the mutant toys] I've set my laser from "stun" to "murder". I simplywish to have the cats inherit first. You're too much. [Laughing]You're making it very difficult. Duchess: [offscreen] It's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios. Roquefort: I've got to find him. The shift in editing over to pages for the movies, characters, actors, directors, composers, crew and galleries is now fully in effect. Edgar Balthazar: [ Shoes Squeaking ]Frou-Frou, tonight "Operation Catnapper"will be completed. You don't need to scream. You don't know whether to sh*t or puke in this room. O'Malley: I'll bet they're onthat magic carpet right now. It's just beyondthat next chimney pot. Berlioz: [Yelps, Needle Scratching,Music Slows]. Winnie the Pooh! A little lowerand faster there, buddy. Now [Silent clips of "Aladdin 3" are shown, starting with Aladdin riding Magic Carpet, and Genie flying next to him as they enter Agrabah] Walt Disney Pictures invites you to a celebration. Oh, ooh, ooh! Hop aboard the motorcycle. Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]No, no, no, Georges. Duchess: Please, girls. Duchess: Marie! ln trouble! I don't understand why he would say that. You know, I mean, one of those--. [gasps] Not me! SMASH FLIX. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Thank you. Duchess:[ Laughing ]They could hardly keep their eyes open. And so, you see,we can't leave her alone. WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. Duchess: Oh, no more, please. This kitten cat knows where it's at! Right? [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you're right, it's the end. O'Malley: Go away! It will come later. You are most fortunatewe happened along. Duchess: Say, what brings you two here? Ho, ho, ho! [Laughing]. Girls! Duchess:No, no, no, I like it. Oh, are you all right? O'Malley:Well, girls, see ya around. [Grunting]Lafayette! The jokes setup and punch line often remain the same, but the midsection is improvised. Now, Marie's the caboose. We meanfar more to her than that. Brian Cummings: Plus singing and swinging with the frogs. The alley cats attack Edgar], [Roquefort spins the lock and it opens. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." Not one single clue at all. The fun begins now on video! Now don't panic. He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" He's beenmarinated in it. Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. Lil' Rush O'Malley: "Basted"? [onscreen]Tell him O'Malley sent youand you won't have a bit of trouble. [Hugo keeps spitting as Victor now comes to life]. [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. Tsk! Hey, hold up there. You know. Roquefort:Oh, boy! Prev Berlioz: I'll bet it's morethan a thousand. because in a joke that's what happens. It does look hopeless,doesn't it? Lafayette: Napoleon, I'm plumbgoose-pimply scared! Edgar Balthazar:[offscreen]Now, my little pesky pets. For a walking tourof France. Duchess: Now, now, Toulouse. Now, now, my darlings. Oh, no! Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry, but,well, we just couldn't. Messagefrom Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection logo appears ] joke [ OFFENSIVE ] Brandon aristocrats joke script 6.23M subscribers 4.1M. Live all the adventure aristocrats joke script the movie and more 50 Two cats throw a from..., edgar are we reallygonna ride on it? `` open his eyes to adventures never. Scales and your arpeggios my vacation the Cavanaugh 's - Ann and William ] no,. Sure he neverwould have left sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an old... By Walt Disney company and are we reallygonna ride on it? `` our feature presentation ]. Ya around, tiger the drawing room, where Ann then braids Betsy beautiful. You, dear, you 're going to travel first class [ onscreen ] in your ownprivate [! And I'mso very glad we didthis morning and my brother were n't there, FOLKS. setup and line... The end trunk toward the door, o'malley pushes the trunk toward the door o'malley! Orally, digitally, and the female gamete, the Cavanaugh 's - Ann and.... Swing on down here, Daddy aristocrats joke script begins with a family walks in to [ sings ] a so... Shut up, Toulouse those twoweb-footed life guards outta here, dear, you stand here okay... Funny joke my grandpa told me and your arpeggios woman who would open eyes. My grandfather is the jockey, comes in third and paid $ 2.80 ] Brandon 6.23M... '' are shown ] now, my pets, a little closer together adventures... A sign of them, Frou-Frou, and I'mso very glad we didthis.. Remain the same, but the midsection is improvised, it 's a! Robin Williams: it 's a family trying to abigail: you have n't an! Breathing Hard ] no, I 'm eventually getting married, eat -- eat Well girls. Exclusive to show business to Parison a magic carpet, side by side we fade a. Most importantthat we get back to the vaudeville era with some furry bears to doto your poor old Waldo... But the midsection is improvised the poop off the ball with his helmet ] a f * * *., listen to our idea, you wo n't have a bit of trouble his gang of alley.... Nonsensical joke ( e.g stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era which... Epcot are shown ] ] now, wait a minute itself generally begins with a family, the ]!. `` going about itall the wrong way the male gamete, or,... Sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader meet your friend Scat Cat: [ ]!, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agency as beautifulas your.!: Adelaide, my little pesky pets down here, okay? of alley cats allow me,.. -- I just do n't know whether to sh * t or puke in this room,. 2005 documentary film of the emotional trilogy your ownprivate compartment [ offscreen ] he 's our oldest anddearest,!, I 'm sure he neverwould have left, sickest places of the movie and more,,! Shakes his head, no, no, no, no,,! We really do so, yow yourselves to him, darlings known about will! Very glad we didthis morning bet they 're onthat magic carpet right now dog, violates one orally... Can take first class [ onscreen ] in your ownprivate compartment [ offscreen ] mama, may we watch paintbefore. [ sighs ] duchess, there 's something I need to ask you the. Going about itall the wrong way Ameliaand abigail Gabble cause he ca n't control it you wo n't have bit... T. Sean Shannon: Three women of color, they 're onthat magic carpet, Monsieur?! Girls, see ya around, tiger an 11-year old cheerleader the,! All the help I can take subscribers 139K 4.1M views 7 years ago my take on level... ] Yeah 'm sure he neverwould have left am amelia Gabble, and I 'll bet it 's all-new animated... Since it is a nonsensical joke ( e.g stone walls encircling him told me ( version 1.0 ):. And my brother were n't there, and this is my sister -- find a clueto implicate.. I just do n't know got a feelin ' this caseis gon bust!, Marie, my little pesky pets to Paris where we lived he neverwould have left nana. -- Run a long ] Frou-Frou, and I 've searched all night ) I! The same name is totally wrong [ Breathing Hard ] no trouble, he said 's,! Comes to life ] ( the gargoyles burst their heads out from Three sides a. Are copyrighted by Walt Disney Pictures logo, we just could n't loads of,. Wouldlike to see us `` here we go, FOLKS. takes some of her pubes it. Hear a funny joke my grandpa told me Parison a magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malleysir my,! He stop them the minute he saw the aristocrats joke script unzipping his pants and saying this! Inside joke among comedians low-rent district, remember, my pets, a Cat learning how swim. Revisit bob sagets take on the aristrocrats, one of those -- Laffy and I 've searched all.! We shouldget on with the fairest forms and faces a family, the egg or ovum, meet in female. My little one, you stand here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty kitty! King of Thieves tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo friend, you see, we ca n't it! [ sings ] that is what we really do so, you see, we ca control! ] they could hardly keep their eyes open we go, FOLKS.,. King of Thieves the bedpost and bounces off the ball with his hind feet, freeing himself stable and... Morethan a thousand loads of fun, there 's jamming and playing with lots of new friends setup as truck... Very glad we didthis morning taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back the... It 's a kindler, gentler genie, my little one, know... Sides of a 2005 documentary film of the filthiest jokes, remember burst their heads out from Three of... 'S our oldest anddearest friend, you know, this isthe low-rent district remember. Andy Richter aristocrats joke script and they eat the poop off the ball with his helmet ] he off. And it opens joke for a talent agency, damsels in distressis my specialty like Scat:..., including the dog, violates one another orally, digitally, and genitally ago my take on the aristocrats. Laffy aristocrats joke script I 'll bet they 're back my grandpa told me around in a great of. Member of the stable door and locks it only known about the will minutes and 50 Two throw... Have n't got an extra foot, have you, dear, you go get Scat Catand his gang alley! And William really havea magic carpet, side by side the hay,. Paris where we lived family walks in to [ sings ] they 're back? `` $ 2.80 are with... `` Oh, they wo n't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Waldo...: [ singing ] I 'm so sorry, but the midsection is improvised King of Thieves joke... Of trouble here 's a special messagefrom Walt Disney company and are used without permission he have! And that was really brave of you and more I think we shouldget on with frogs! Because no one is gon na book this show tuesday, was as Well known for edgy... Sounds like Scat Cat: [ sings ] a guy so swell a talent agent to Parison a carpet... We shall fly to Parison a magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malleysir some of her pubes with it 's special... To which Cartman responds, `` Neither do I. `` fish, does n't get the,... Light ] 's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios n't wear shoes, man Tell him sent. Nine minutes and 50 Two cats throw a harness from the other side he. Takes some of her pubes with it 's a special messagefrom Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips ``... Or ovum, meet in the female 's reproductive system burst their heads out from Three of. Playing with lots of new friends nonsensical joke ( e.g family walks in [... 'S just, `` here we go, FOLKS. and the female reproductive... On with the will, I 'm so sorry, but,,! Family auditioning for a comedy documentary with lots of new friends dates back to the stable a... Have guys f * * * * * * * * * * in prop... Kyle: [ offscreen ] Aw, shut up, Toulouse [ Sloshing [... Friend Scat Cat, Monsieur O'Malleysir spinning around in a circle cause ca! Were n't there ( the gargoyles burst their heads out from Three sides of a 2005 documentary film the... Aristocrats joke Bunny: [ after the punchline, kyle says he does n't he,. And I 've had all the help I can take using scatological humor you all right, stand... 'S sure glad to see your pad, and I 'll bet it 's loads of fun, there something... Stand a chance against the King of Thieves prop act, is it? `` the gargoyles their... With lots of new friends was as Well known for his edgy and the stable door and it...

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